Best Jokes Part 4

Best Jokes Part 4

31"Keep digging you'll find one eventually." Simon Evans on the Edinburgh trams, Pleasance Courtyard

32"The tattooist said to me that she didn't believe in anaesthetic. I said: 'I assure you, it does exist." Diane Spencer, Gilded Balloon

33 "Google is like religion – you choose the answer that is right for you." Trevor Noah, Pleasance Courtyard

34 "There are so many drugs in my system that I could be on the Chinese Olympic swimming team." Andrew Lawrence, Pleasance Courtyard

35"I went to the hospital with my psoriasis. They gave me a DVD of The Singing Detective and said 'Good luck with your life.'" Sean Hughes, Gilded Balloon

36"Princess Kate is a PILF, if you will. I won't. I suspect you can get hanged for that." Mark Watson on the regal version of MILF, Assembly George Square

37 "Glass half empty or glass half full, there's still exactly the same amount of water in each one." Will Cooper in Jerome Jack's Journey of Life, Just the Tonic at the Tron

38"Like watching two football teams that never quite score." Alistair Barrie on weather watching. Udderbelly Bristo Square

39 “Today... I did seven press ups: not in a row.” Daniel Kitson, The Traverse

40"If 50 Cent was shot nine times, why