Best jokes part 2

Best Jokes Part 2

11 "I used to want to be star but now I just like hot darkness."

Anti-comedian Eddie Pepitone, Just the Tonic at The Tron

12 "The finest Rioja comes from Fife. Meanwhile Spain is on fire."

Phill Jupitus on a climate-changed world in 2052, The Stand

13 "Just had a near death experience. I was metres away when this dude got hit by a train." Iain Stirling, Udderbelly

14 "When Jesus went to heaven, was that not essentially 'moving back in with your parents'?" Iain Stirling, Udderbelly

15 "Alex Salmond says he's proud of Scolympians. I presume he means Scottish Olympians? What a Scarsehole."

Matt Forde, Udderbelly, Bristo Square

16 "You should never take the mick out of a nightclub bouncer. These guys put themselves in the line of fire to protect us on a nightly basis. When they kiss their wives goodbye in the morning they don't know if they'll ever see their sisters again." Jarlath Regan, The Stand – Assembly Rooms

17"I decided to lose weight as I have learned obesity is the leading cause of heart disease, stroke and your flirting at work being construed as harassment" Pete Johansson, Udderbelly – Pasture

18 "The internet says pigeons can fly at 65mph. They can, just not necessarily in a straight line. This is a myth created by crows." Tim Fitzhigham, Pleasance Courtyard

19 "People who like trance music are very persistent. They don't techno for an answer." Joel Dommett, Pleasance Courtyard

20"I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never... lure them into my car. No, I'm kidding... I don't have a licence." Felicity Ward, Udderbelly Pasture

Best Jokes Part 1

Best Jokes Part 1

1 "What do we want!? More research into a cure for ADHD! When do we want it!? Let's play swingball!"Joe Lycett, Pleasance Courtyard

2 "I've been keeping a count of the prostitutes I've been sleeping with. Tally ho." Mark Smith, Pleasance Courtyard

3 "I was very naive sexually. My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months." Hayley Ellis, Pleasance Courtyard

4 "Gok Wan has a programme telling us what to wear, now what to eat. I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with Channel 4." Hayley Ellis, Pleasance Courtyard

5 "I really fancy Ed Miliband. Mainly because he looks like David Miliband reflected in a spoon." Gráinne Maguire, Udderbelly – Daisy

6 "The Only Way Is Essex's popularity is mystifying . Nothing happens in it. It's like a never ending hen night mixed with Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot."

Gráinne Maguire, Udderbelly – Daisy

7 "The best musical to go and see at the moment is Ghost. Apparently it's still starring Patrick Swayze." Tom Deacon, Pleasance Dome

8 "My Dad's advice when I was younger about women was 'Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen'. I guess that's why they had that divorce."

Tom Deacon, Pleasance Dome

9 "You can keep paying us and we'll keep waving from the balcony."

Andrew Maxwell on the Royal Family, Assembly George Square

10 "Watching porn on the internet is like witnessing a crime scene – I feel like I need to call the police."Alan Davies, EICC

Medal of Honor: War fighter

Medal of Honor: War fighter 

The Good

• Fire team system gives the online multiplayer a sense of camaraderie   
• Entertaining and inspired vehicular sequences   
• Some atmospheric levels.

The Bad

• Ho-hum campaign fails to combine the usual tropes into a greater whole   
• Disjointed narrative populated by cookie-cutter characters   
• Set pieces lack the necessary thrills.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is an open-world action role-playing game developed by Bethesda Game Studios.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is an open-world action role-playing game developed by Bethesda Game Studios. It is the fifth game in the popular Elder Scrolls role-playing game series, and is set 200 years after the events of the previous installment; The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. The game takes its name from the province of Skyrim in which the game is set, and the main story is focused on the player's quest to defeat Alduin, a Dragon god prophesized to destroy the world.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

The fourth chapter in the Elder Scrolls series takes the game to new levels with game play and graphical enhancements, and features over 200 hours of play time.

help me expand my blog

halo wars

halo wars

we as gamer's originally sort this to be like halo reach and the cinematic trailer predicted it to be like a action packed game like halo 3 

it was a big shock when they saidabout what the game was, RTS and halo never heard of till this beast game came along

manhunt

manhunt

its an OK game, bad graphics but if your into violence game's  then this is for you

NBA 2K13

NBA 2K13

Enhanced realism and a great new control setup make NBA 2K13 a fantastic recreation of pro hoops.

Far Cry 3

Far Cry 3

Far Cry 3's intelligent and elegant open-world structure balances exciting action with the joys of free-form adventuring, making it one of the best shooters of the year.

dishonored

dishonored

Dishonored's engrossing world and intoxicating interplay of supernatural powers make it a game you'll want to play more than once.

halo reach

halo reach

the game halo reach was in its top standards in 2011 because of the forge and the fact it opened up unlimited posibilitys for player created content

stronghold kingdoms

stronghold kingdoms

the game is amazing for simple reasons players expreince

elite economic values and realistic wars

empire earth 1

empire earth 1

if i was honest i have a spare laptop which has rubbish components and it runs this game and its a great start to the RTS genre

empire earth 2

empire earth 2

empire earth 2 is an RTS muiltey aged game i could be playing a game with the dark age and my mate next to me could be playing in the same room as me (LAN play) 

empire earth 3

empire earth 3

empire earth 3 is a RTS game and has got great graphic's , its the fact you can go online and battle it out that is cool, the unit customization is brilliant and the fact you can actually train units makes the game a lot more fun and can control hundreds of units at any given time 

World of warcraft

world of Warcraft

world of Warcraft is a famous MMORPG because it is extremely addictive and its virtually a second life 

because of the customization and the constant updates with new content 

i found the game boring until mists of pandaira (add on) was released because the fact you could make a panda that could chose what fraction you want it too be

Runescape

runescape

runescape is a browser based game the reason why i like it is because i used to play the game 

when i was a kid and i carried on till i was 17

JAGEX (creators) had destroyed runescape in 2008 i think due to taking away the greatest future (pvp) the wildy

in the middle of 2011 their was a hope that the wildy might com back and it did before you know it JAGEX was bringing the wildy back even better then before

call of duty world at war

call of duty world at war

the game is good for zombies but the graphics are tragic and were expected to be a lot better before the game was released

assassins creed 3

assassins creed 3

the game is amazing not only is the assassinations brilliant the effects are delightful and the economic and  society take a twist the game brings and the assassins end to the world!!!